Tuesday, November 29, 2011

It's Not Easy...

It's not easy to admit when you are wrong.

It's not easy to ask for help.

It's not easy to acknowledge your fears.

These things are difficult for anyone to come to grips with, no matter who you are or how strong of a person you believe yourself to be. I have trouble admitting when I'm wrong. It takes a lot for me to ask for help. I pretend my fears don't exist until they bite me in the bum. I do it and I know you are nodding your head thinking 'Yes, I do that too.' Saving Jane even wrote a song about it:


But my boyfriend? He admits when he's wrong and apologizes. He asks for help when he hits a wall. He admits his fears and then takes them head on. And he does all of these things from a million miles away while he endures constant moments of terror and trials of courage.

The strength he has shown over the past several months is incredible, but he doesn't see it the way I do.

Well Greg, allow me to show you the world through my eyes.

I know you have moments of fear as anyone in your position would. But what amazes me is not that you put on your tough, I can take on the world face and charge head-first into danger to fight for our freedom, although that is incredible! What amazes me is that before you face what scares you most, you admit your fears. It takes a strong person to face their fears but it takes even more strength and courage to admit those fears first and then face them.

Humans by nature are prideful. We like to accomplish things on our own. We believe we are invincible and that we don't need assistance. When we reach the edge of a cliff, we grope around and try to find the nearest ledge to save ourselves; we do everything in our power to back away from the edge before we shout for help and then we still wait 10 more minutes before screaming. But you, Hunny? I have seen you put your pride aside when you see the ledge approaching and speak up to prevent a fall. And you do it so effortlessly, without even realizing you are making a sacrifice.

Greg, you know one of the hardest things for me is admitting when I am wrong. It takes a lot of soul searching and ferocious inner monologue for me to come to terms with a mistake I have made and it takes even more effort and struggle for me to admit my faults to others, especially when that acknowledgment requires an apology. I don't think I'm the only one out there with this fault; I like to believe it's common. But you? You've admitted your flaws (however few they may be) and apologized for your mistakes. And no one made you do it. No one told you that you were wrong and no one requested an apology. You came to terms with these things all on your own and you left me all but speechless.

I think you are incredible. Some days I wish I could learn to be as strong as you. Don't get me wrong, I love myself the way I am, flaws included. I just think that with all you deal with each day, you forget how truly amazing you are. So I'm reminding you. I know you are probably shaking your head and thinking I'm ridiculous. But I'm not. If you could only see what I see Greg, you'd be as in love with yourself as I am with you.

I love you baby and don't forget how strong you really are. I believe you can make it through anything.

And for some comic relief, here is Pooch the Menace in a Christmas sweater. Isn't he cute?!?!

2 comments:

  1. Oh this picture has me sitting back with one eyebrow shrugged going......why????? But laughing of course.

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  2. i'm glad i read this ...
    how important to celebrate each other's strengths and weaknesses.

    thank you for this.

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